Hearts and Souls

A collection of thoughts, feelings and emotions that touches your soul. A train of thoughts, combined with poured-emotions and sheltered feelings... An outlet for those hidden desires, fantasies, and dreams dedicated to those large-hearted softies (pero feeling tough) individuals.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Wala lang... relate.

I was browsing true my email(which im supposed to shutdown already) when i saw photos of a former... should i say...half friend, half love.

I met her one evening in Iligan, she was from a city I used to be in. she was beautiful, and the first times you'll see her, you'll feel like "this is it!", "she's the one!" sadly, there were circumstances that didnt allow for it to happen. we were like talking the whole night, and everytime we get the chance to. there were four of them, she was with her cuz and a common friend whom introduced me to them. then came other friends who got into the stir and her attention was divided,.. that night i saw her cry, i dont know what was the reason why she did, but as i was looking at her i wanted to cry with her, to comfort her... anything just to make that stop... damn i dont even know why i felt that way when the truth of the matter was i just met her a few hours ago. as the night ended, we parted ways(cant explain what just gotten into me but while writing this i just took a deep breath like the kind when you just finished crying). and they went home to were they came from... davao. and it was a very long time, a year even, before we saw each other again.

memories arise from my heart felt sadness
images of yesterday that should have been forgoten,
emotions i can never explain nor understand
feelings for a girl from that distant land.

we, the kind of man that i am, i managed to get her number, and we continued on texting and calling, there were times when we talked like its the last, celphones was my bestfriend at that time, most specially the charger! she calls at 11pm and we'll talk for like until 5-6am. and i never get tired of talking nor listening. i was with her for just a single night, yet i feel like even a life time is not enough for me to be with her, i to know everything that happened to her before we met, i wanna know her life, i wanted to be a part of it. everyday that passed i wished to see her, or pray that on my way to school she'll just show up. lame you can say that, but frankly i didnt give a shit of what people think that time, i was happy as anyone coulb be.

yet far as you may, i still continue to pray
one day will come that we will be together i say.
and when that day comes, ill be the happiest man
for the day has come, we've met together, becoming as one.

why aren't we together you ask? well, the time that we met, i was in a relationship with someone, whom i had discovered wasn't worth the sacrifices for she's the one that cheated on me, anyway, for that reason that i was in a relationship, i was forced to call it off. and she stopped calling, and texting. but i couldn't stand it, so i opened my window... or in your words... email. then after a year (right after i discovered that my reason for leaving the girl of my dreams just cheated on me) i had the chance to go to davao, there we had our chance and as she promised, from her texts and calls, the very moment we saw each other (this was only the second time) she gaved me a hug i can never forget, even now while writing this the feeling just spreads through my vains.

it is the diffrence of what you want
and what is expected of you.
from what you need,
and whats good for you.
from who you love,
and who loves you.

but as the time passed, now i can see that she has gotten over me, and that she has already a good life. i cant contest on that, not when a life with me means a greater sacrifies on her side. i dont ever wanna see her cry.


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